Phone Six, Etc.

Tip of the day for College Students and Teens: Put your best name forward!

Consider these tips from a human resource manager for a major department store chain to show potential employers you are the right person for the job. Will your cell phone block your chances for a summer job? It could if your voicemail for job hunting is the same voicemail your friends hear. First impressions count.

1. Your message should reflect a pleasant attitude. Don’t mumble. Hint: smile while recording. It works!

2. While you’re being pleasant, try to project some energy and interest. Don’t make the caller think you’re falling asleep or bored.

3. Keep your introduction short and avoid slang. Say, “Hello! This is [name, e.g., Cheryl],” not “Hey, there! It’s [knickname, e.g., Cha-cha].” No need to elaborate on why you cannot take the call.

4. Resist the urge to entertain callers with your favorite track. Employers are busy. They called to speak with you, not “enjoy the music.” Be respectful of their time.

5. Remember your manners: “Please leave a message.” “Thank you!”

6. Check for messages several times daily and return calls promptly. You’ll score points for reliability and responsibility.

Online applications, for which you need an email address, have become the norm. Set up a separate email account just for job hunting. (Use a free site such as Hotmail.com or Yahoo.com.) Save the fun address that reflects your interests and personality for social emailing. Choose an address that communicates professionalism: cutie@email.com does not leave the same impression as janedoe@email.com.

Timing is Everything

Attention all morning show producers: Stop doing segments about the perils severe winter weather poses to pets while the snow melts instead of when it’s falling; prom dress selection tips in May, without considering that most proms take place in May and most prom dresses are purchased in March and April; Fourth of July picnic ideas on the July 3 broadcast; Back-to-School anything shown after the kids have returned to school, etc. Your ideas and information are totally useless when we get them after-the-fact.

There is a disconnect between the calendars of real life and television. They get the timing right on hard news; the softer side of filling time slots trips them up. (Newscasts that iterate the precise time line of when they will present "details" of events--Pittsburgh's WPXI--are equally annoying.) Maybe their MO is to entice viewers to refer to the station web site. If so, we should skip the show altogether and simply log on.

Trip down memory lane…

Remember when “clean” reigned as aromatic king? Those days are gone. We’ve become a smelly society that, ironically, frowns upon those wearing too much perfume and goes to court at first whiff.

A splash of aftershave or dab of perfume once sufficed as grooming signatures. Today our John Hancocks of hygiene compete with the aromas of deodorants, soaps, shampoos, conditioners, nail polish removers, skin creams, powders, hygiene sprays and feminine products. Apparently the manufacturers think we need help. Why else would they give us “Shower Clean” as a deodorant option?

Even the act of buying something as mundane as dryer sheets demands more than selecting a brand or price point in a scented or non-scented version. Now an array of fragrance options complicates your purchase. Today our clothes smell.

So do our homes. Tissues, candles, diffusers, potpourri, cleansers and dishwashing liquid come in fragrances, too, which supposedly complement the smell of your towels and linens. Scents by the season and for the season.

Let’s not forget the mail. Perfumed inserts in department store sale booklets make sure that our front porch sets the stage for the bouquets inside.

The result of this aromatherapy that envelopes us: selection stress. Eventually it’ll be dubbed a syndrome and someone will name it (can you say research dollars?), someone else will develop a personality quiz (if you choose ‘linen’ and ‘new car’ you are conservative”) and both will hit the talk show circuit.

Personally, I do not want lilac- or gardenia-wreaking hair that attracts bees to my head. Nor do I want to walk around with almondy or lemony tresses, smelling like a French kitchen. Few ask, “Will baby powder clash with mountain rainfall?” Most should.

That’s the plain truth.

The Sheridan Index

Sheridan stopped by yesterday and in true form, my dear friend had another brainchild. This time the topic was taxes.

According to Sheridan, we taxpayers operate in a vacuum. We know when taxes go up in our own boroughs, municipalities, townships, cities and states. We also know when the Federal government decides to take more of our earned income.

“What we don’t know, what we are entitled to know and what the media fails to report is the tax situation in boroughs, munis, townships, cities and states across the country,” Sheridan told me. “What we need is a Dow Jones equivalent of American taxation.”

“You’ve lost me. Why should I care about local taxes in places I don’t even visit?” I asked.

Sheridan shook his head in disbelief. “Doesn’t the cost of everything you buy bother you?”

“So what’s the game plan?” I asked, settling in for a long conversation.

“First we need a list of places where factories that produce things we buy are located, making sure that a cross section of industry is represented. For instance, candy bars would put Hershey, Pa., on our list. Baseball bats are made in Louisville, Ky., so Louisville could be considered a candidate. Then there’s Racine, Wis., where S.C. Johnson Wax, maker of Pledge® furniture polish, Raid® bug spray and other household must-haves, is headquartered; Vidalia, Ga., a prime source of onions; the entire state of North Carolina where furniture-making is centered and so on. For cars, we have several choices depending on brand preference such as Maryville, Ohio, for Honda buffs,” Sheridan said, looking up from his folder.

“What about electronics, tennis shoes— stuff that’s made in other countries?” I asked. “We live in a global market, you know.”

Sheridan nodded and shuffled papers in his folder. “So we concentrate on corporate headquarter sites. Regardless of what happens in other countries, American corporations still have to pay the American tax piper. And, since a company views its tax obligation as a cost of doing business, it passes that cost on to its customers,” Sheridan explained.

“What do you do with this list?” I asked. “How do you narrow it down?”

Sheridan looked pensive for several minutes. I thought I had burst his bubble until he said, “The final list will be based on market share to ensure that the most frequently purchased items in key categories are represented. You know: toiletries, food, cleaning products, clothing, sporting goods, appliances, medicine, cars...”

“So unlike the Dow Jones Industrial Average, your list would change frequently to reflect buying trends?”

“Correct,” Sheridan said, nodding. “After finalizing the initial list of companies by key category, we publish the tax situation for each company location. And therein lies the key. Just as the Dow Jones Industrial Average tells us how stocks are performing, my tax index will alert average Americans to possible price increases and help them budget household expenses. They’ll know, for instance, that when such-and-such school district raises mill rates, this will be passed on to them in the form of higher prices by companies located in that school district.”

“And if that mill hike is combined with any other taxes imposed by the corporation’s home state plus any increases in local taxes...”

“It’s starting to make sense, isn’t it?” said Sheridan.

“With this kind of information, consumers will be able to brace themselves for higher prices. This index of yours may be the answer to the question, ‘What happened to all of my hard-earned money?’,” I said.

“The Sheridan Consumer Tax Index would be announced on news broadcasts and printed in the financial sections of newspapers. An entire cottage industry could be launched,” said Sheridan.

“What prompted this?” I asked. “Visions of a slot on CNN?”

“Everyday someone’s telling me that taxes or rates are going up, yet the increase will only cost me a penny a letter, $20 a year, $1.47 per month, a quarter an hour, just a nickel a gallon; etc., etc., etc.,” Sheridan said. “These ‘only’ types forget they’re not the only ‘onlys’ queuing up for my money. ”

“Before I buy into this completely, walk me through an example,” I said.

Sheridan nodded, then thought for a moment. “Okay. Say I need a new Mr. Wash-It washing machine. The Mr. Wash-It Company is based in Oklahoma. If the state of Oklahoma decides to increase the rate Oklahoma-based corporations have to pay for unemployment compensation, Mr. Wash-It products are going to cost more. If the school district in which the Mr. Wash-It Company sits raises property taxes because it needs to build a new high school, Mr. Wash-It products are going to cost more. Why? Stockholders want profits. To pay higher taxes and still protect profit margins, the Mr. Wash-It Company has three choices: cut manufacturing costs, move production to a lower-tax site or raise prices. Raising prices is the easiest route.”

“I hate to admit it, but you may be onto something,” I said.

Sheridan grinned. “What politician in his right mind would propose a tax increase when the entire country has just learned that 85 percent of the counties in the United States have increased property taxes, 47 of the 50 states have announced higher gasoline taxes and all but 19 school districts will be charging residents more for the privilege of owning property?”

It was my turn to smile. “A patriot who’s been advised that the average American has been asked to part with only 100 percent of his income? Now, where does Kimberly Clark make Kleenex®?” I asked. “We’ll want to include them on the list since tissue consumption in the halls of budget committees across the country is about to increase tenfold.”

Word of the Day: Reciprocity

Nothing kills good intentions like reciprocity. The ritual of gift-giving is fraught with the face-saving need to make sure that anyone who gives a gift gets a gift.

The pressure to make sure you have a gift for someone who might be giving you a gift permeates the days leading up to any holiday. Hence the concept of re-gifting was born: an unwanted present is rewrapped and given in exchange for a gift from someone who was not on your shopping list. Everyone is happy. Or, are they?

For the individual who buys a gift simply because she—men rarely buy gifts voluntarily—wants to acknowledge a friendship, a favor or the special role a person plays in her life, the prospect of receiving a gift in return is irrelevant. Selecting the right gift can be a difficult undertaking; knowing that it might be reciprocated increases the stress level involved.

Rules of etiquette imply that reciprocity is indicative of proper manners. Reciprocity may keep the retail industry rolling, but it ignores the feelings of the giver and detracts from the recipient’s pleasure. Ignoring someone’s feelings…good manners?

Those who only give presents because they expect one in return are offended when their code of reciprocity is broken. Let them be offended. Ending the cycle of reciprocity will make the holidays more enjoyable for all of us.